Myself, my father and my mother on my wedding day

I’ve been pondering on this blog for a while. To be honest, I was having writer’s block. Let’s face it, there’s only so much I can say about Wills and Powers of Attorney and Inheritance tax. It’s a bit of a dry subject and there’s a limit to what I can say on it that would keep you engaged.

Then I thought: hang on, I could make this one a bit different. For a change, I’ll talk about stuff like emotions, feelings, and the value of living your life to the fullest. Now I’m not a coach, a psychiatrist or a physician. Yet I can give you views on how my professional and personal circumstances have made me value my life and the lives of those I love. And why, because of those circumstances, I set out to enjoy every second of every day.

I write Wills and by default, I talk about death all the time. Every day. I even dream about writing wills. An occupational hazard I daresay. I’m not morbid by any means but it can be a sombre job talking about important issues for my clients and making sure they are doing the best for their loved ones when they die. So I talk about making plans for funerals, worst-case scenarios for families, appointing guardians, etc. and planning for my clients’ death.

I’m also an overthinker. And dealing with death everyday – as I do – it can affect you. I suppose the good thing is that it has affected me in a positive way. We’re all going to die. We don’t know when and where.  So if it’s going to happen tomorrow, I’m going to make sure I enjoy myself today!

This does not mean I am out partying every night or spending all my money on ridiculous things; shoes and lipstick are not ridiculous – they’re essentials. I do have, or at least I believe I do, a heightened sense of the beauty in the everyday. It’s also made me far more driven. My father died when he was fifty-eight years old. Young by today’s standards. That experience instilled in me a drive to get things done yesterday. I don’t want to waste any time. I want to help as many clients as I can, run a successful business and see my children grow up. I also want to do what my father didn’t get to do and that’s to see my children have children of their own. Plus, I want to have a bloody good time in the process! And why not?

So no waffling on about the importance of drafting a Will in this blog. Though of course they are most important and you should all have one! Instead a bit of me, and, as it’s the 18th anniversary year of my father’s death this month, a bit of him too:

Poem read at my father’s funeral:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.

John Donne

If you would like to have a chat about your Wills, I’d love to hear from you. I also have some great contacts in Grief Recovery, if this might be of help to you.  I couldn’t resist adding some photos of my father and I too!

Me (aged 2) and my father in India